What Were You Waiting For?
by archphoenix
Summary: One Shot. Femshep/Miranda Lawson. Miranda lies defeated in Sanctuary after the battle with Kai Leng and must summon the courage to tell Shepard how she feels while the still has a chance.


"I wanted you to have a normal life...a family...all the things I could never have." Miranda's voice broke as Ori broke down into uncontrollable sobs.

Miranda turned to Shepard, wondering even now if she could find the courage to say what she knew she must. Fighting Kai Leng had seemed so much simpler in comparison.

"Shepard," Miranda struggled.

"Sh," the Commander desperately hushed, "save your strength, please Randa. The shuttle is coming we can get you out of here. You're going to be okay."

"No," Miranda said, stronger but feeling a rush of affection at the nickname Shepard used for her in tender moments, "there's not enough time."

"Of course there is." Shepard shook her head desperately.

"Emily, please" and the use of her first name seemed to calm Shepard, "I need you to know. It seems so stupid now. This is what it took but I have to say it, and maybe that's cruel."

"What are you talking about?" Shepard asked, cradling Miranda to her, and stroking her cheek. "What is it?"

And Miranda wondered to herself how Shepard could look so extraordinarily beautiful even now, after battle and with so much worry etched upon her face. A strand of red hair fell from behind her ear and Miranda couldn't help but smile so affectionately at the woman she simply called friend in public but meant so much more to her in the depths of her soul. She forced herself to look at those green eyes which so scared and excited her but then questioned why she thought she would have to force herself at all, it was always so easy. Really, even dying was nothing when Shepard was around, she thought.

"I'm in love with you, I've always been in love with you." Miranda said, and now the words were out she could have wept at how easy they were to say because loving Emily Shepard had been so natural ever since the day they had started working together.

She'd found Emily so irresistible in the beginning, she completely wrong footed the cool and composed operative. She challenged Miranda, making her believe in Shepard and in herself. As Miranda began to love herself, she somehow inexplicably fell in love with Shepard.

She could have wept at the bitterness that washed over her but she had no strength to spare. All of those nights they'd spent in her cabin arguing over everything from classical music, to Jack, to the Illusive Man but even he could not have stopped what had developed between them. She had no doubts when she quit Cerberus. She did it all for Shepard, even though until recently Shepard had been with the asrai doctor. She had watched Shepard and Liara from a distance, wished that all of the beautiful things Shepard whispered to Liara she would be the one to hear them instead.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shepard demanded in a croaked voice.

"We were friends, you were with someone else, I didn't want to ruin things for you. You'd been through enough." Miranda explained, spent.

"You fool." Shepard wept. "I didn't love Liara, I wanted you. Why do you think I ended it? It's always been you. I love you. I'm in love with you."

Shepard pressed their foreheads together and Miranda felt their tears merge and joy surged through her dying heart at finally hearing the words she never believed would ever meet her ears. She wanted so desperately to wipe the tears from Shepard's face, it wounded her worse than anything she was physically experiencing now to see the anguish on her face but the sensation was leaving her arms and she knew she had only moments to speak with Shepard.

"Kiss me, Shepard." Miranda ordered with a beautiful smile.

Shepard agreed, frantic at the situation and powerless to stop what was happening. Miranda felt Shepard's rib cage shake and chest heave as she struggled to keep her sobs at bay. Miranda kissed her tears and then returned to her mouth, full of passion. If this was to be their only kiss she was certain to pour everything she'd ever felt for Shepard into it and as she lay dying, she'd never felt more alive.

"I love you. I love you so much." Miranda told her, determined that Shepard would know the depth of her emotion.

"No, you don't." Shepard cried, finally breaking down. "You can't. You wouldn't leave me if you did."

 _I'll never leave you._

"I love you," Miranda reaffirmed, staring into those deep green eyes so full of devastation.

"I can't do this without you." Shepard wept, caressing her face and stroking those raven locks and kissing her again on the lips but as she pulled away from Miranda, she knew, she knew that she would never see that cocky smile nor the sparkle of those deep blue eyes of Miranda Lawson again.


End file.
